Mary Claybon's Middle Way Health Blog

My experience with Dahn Yoga

I had an interesting experience this week. I walked into a health food store while visiting my sister in the southwest Chicago suburbs. While purchasing my vitamins, there was an Asian guy asking if we wanted our aura read. I was with my sister, her daughter and my niece. We all decided to participate. You put your hands on the metal outline of two hands and a body with the colors of your aura would appear on a computer screen.

The reading revealed the colors of your energy and indicated your brain and body energy. My energy was fairly balanced and the colors indicated a degree of inner healing, however I did have some stuck energy and areas of tension according the guy doing the reading. My niece and sister had their’s done and the reading was accurate for their state of stress and health at the moment. The young man gave us a brochure about his healing venue called Dahn Yoga.

It turns out he had a class on Saturday, so my niece and I decided to go. We soon learned that this was more than your typical yoga class. The sign on the outside read Dahn Yoga, Brain Respiration. Interesting! We walked in and were soon told that we both needed a full healing and the Thanksgiving special offered 50% off so we decided this would not only be an interesting experience, but also beneficial – if it was valid.

My healing experience was with the young man who was doing the aura reading at the health food store. This is not my first experience with healing techniques. I have practiced traditional forms of yoga for years. I also had my own classes. I have also participated in Tai Chi and Qigong classes. I enjoy massage therapy and have also had acupuncture several times. This reminded me of Shiatsu massage.

My niece and I had separate experiences. Her healer was a young Korean woman. The private healing rooms were furnished with a bamboo mat, soft pillow, and a burning candle. It was very relaxing, with lights dimmed and the reminder to simply experience and focus on the body sensations that came up.

As in all holistic healing modalities I was reminded to focus on deep relaxing breaths. My healer spent a lot of time massaging the abdominal area, tapping on the area just over the heart, and tapping on the head. I let myself simply experience whatever came up. I really felt very little until he stopped his movement and massage. Then I felt a warmth and tingly sensation mostly in my upper body.

After the bodywork, we sat and talked and he seemed very knowledgeable about energy balance as it relates to the body, mind and spirit. We also discussed some  of my emotional stuck areas and I felt his insights were very affirming and helpful.

My niece said her healer did more massage of her back and feet, but overall her experience felt good and positive.

I went in knowing nothing about Dahn Yoga. We never took a class so I had no idea what a Dahn Yoga class would be like. I left feeling I had gotten my money’s worth at half price and the experience was overall a positive one.

            We did enjoy the private healing and were not pressured to join, but they did offer information and brochures on workshops and training.

            Since returning home, I have done some on line research and found everything from positive testimonials of healing to negative accusations of cult behavior and lawsuits.

            Having fallen into the trap of following “Gurus” in my past, I will count this as one positive experience along the journey, and best leave it as over for now.

             Have you experienced Dahn Yoga or other brain healing modalities?

What has been your experience?

 

 

 

You Have to Stop Sooner Or Later

 For years people who have talked about wellness referred to weight loss, fitness or smoking cessation programs. Later we identified the role stress plays in our overall health and wellness so we developed stress management programs.

 Interesting that although the wellness industry has spent the last 20 years designing programs and providing health promotion information to the point that most consumers are very well educated, health is not improving much - Not the kind of health that is defined by an overall sense of balance of body, mind and spirit or physical, emotional or spiritual togetherness. In fact many people are exercising and watching their weight. Unfortunately many people have given up and continue to spiral upwards. There is no loss of material on what constitutes a healthy diet or adequate fitness program. There are also more self help books published than ever before to help us deal with our stress management.

 Keeping all of this in mind, it is interesting that when I work with people as a wellness coach, their vision often includes a regular exercise program and healthy diet, but it always seems to include the word balance and gaining more energy and enjoying life more. Yet that is the one place it is hard to concentrate. To stop all of our activity, whether it is for our work or just to keep the house managed is very difficult. We just keep going until our body can’t go anymore and then we get sick. It is when we get sick that we question how we have been going about getting all these things done.

More and more people have said to me that they need to take time to meditate, yet less and less do. Why is that? I know for myself I often feel that once this or that item on my to do list is complete, I will be able to sit back and relax. Sitting seems such a waste of time when there is so much to do. That is why we recommend that you schedule a regular time for meditation regardless of what is going on in life or with work. It has to be as built in as brushing your teeth. It has to be an everyday occurrence.

 But what if we are just not of the makeup to sit in a formal meditation? That is not necessary, but what is necessary is to have some sort of practice built into your life for reflection on more than your everyday tasks. The fact is that one’s body and mind can’t keep on going without a break. Eventually you will have to stop.

As you get prepare for the holidays, build into your day a time for silence, prayer, yoga, reflective reading, listening to peaceful music, journaling, or if you can, sitting in a position of meditation, following your breath long enough to feel a difference in your body- a feeling of peace and quiet rather than rushing and a sense of urgency. If you practice enough, it will become a memory in your body that you will be able to tap into when life is speeding by. Like all of my clients, it has to be a priority and goal for change. Let that be now and not later.

Enjoy Your Food and Your Life

I love food and I love life. I live for joy and enjoy eating. The day I stopped dieting and I started eating what I wanted and living to the fullest, was the day my weight stopped being an issue.  I look forward to eating and enjoy every bite. I also enjoy moving and dancing and using my body. I love the feeling of health and life and love. I think about what I am going to eat from the time I get up until I take my last bite of the day. I live to eat and enjoy food and the pleasure of dining. I wonder who I am going to eat with, what new restaurants or recipes I want to try. I have fun traveling and eating around the world. I enjoy a variety of cuisines and love every minute of my meals. How sad that we live in a world where people feel that in order to lose weight, get healthy, prevent disease they have to deprive themselves of one of the greatest pleasures of life food and eating.

I love these quotes:

 “Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale.”
Elsa Schiaparelli Italian designer (1890-1973)
 

 "Never fit a dress to the body but train the body to fit the dress"
- Elsa Schiaparelli –

 The act of eating and dining out is a time not only to satisfy your own hunger, but to share an experience with others. At a time when the world is threatened by acts of terrorism and we live in fear, there needs to be a time when you can let go of fear, yet mealtimes are often the most fearful part of the day for many. Instead of enjoying food and the pleasure of eating, this time is often filled with guilt and fear.

My work with weight management and lifestyle change examines the underlying beliefs, philosophies, and motivations that affect our relationship to food and whether food becomes a pleasure for the body or a poison creating unhealth and unhealthy habits.

I ask my clients and readers four questions: What are you eating? What are you drinking? What are you doing? And What are you thinking?

Thinking is most important.

I will be offering a series of classes and Blog Talk Radio shows around the idea of food, focus, mindfulness, and liberated living for peace and joy.

 I hope many of you join me!

Check out my Products and Events Page and Sign up for Free Classes and Downloads

 

 

Friendship: The Medicine of Life

FRIENDSHIP: THE MEDICINE OF LIFE

By Mary Claybon

 

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing…not healing, not curing…that is a friend who cares.”

-       Henri Nouwen

 Friendship is an art. We are born into families but we must cultivate our friends. A true friend is priceless- someone you can call when you are confused, have a problem, or when you are excited and want to celebrate. Sometimes we need a friend to listen and not fix our problems or advise us with the best solution. Yet, how many people have someone in their life who will listen and love unconditionally without an ulterior motive; without asking for anything in return; someone whose own spirit is lifted by allowing you to share your dreams, worries, fears, confusion, anger, and other emotions.

This is rare in today’s society, because we are in a hurry and listening takes time.

Like doctors, we want to give our friend a solution. Often we don’t want a solution; we just want to talk it out. A true healer will listen until they don’t exist so the other person can come up with their own solution, but this takes time.

Recently I went to the doctor and I said to him, “You know, Doctor, I think there is an emotional component to this and I really want to heal at a deeper level.” He looked at me with a sense of helplessness, and said “Well, get up on the table and let me listen to your heart.” After putting the cold stethoscope on my chest, he proclaimed, “You are just fine.” Isn’t that funny? Would he really take the time to listen to my heart and soul and mind? No, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he doesn’t have time. Listening to someone’s feelings and emotions is difficult. We quickly want to solve the problem, hurry away the pain, and heal the person. We can’t expect our doctors to be our friends, but if we had more friends we might not need as many doctors.

You may have a “ton of friends,” but how many of your friendships are open and unreserved allowing you both to expose your soul and unleash your feelings and emotions without fear. You are fortunate if among the multitudes of people you know, you have one or two trusting friends who will be there for you even when they don’t understand you.

Cultivating friendship takes time and thought and the ability to give and to forgive. It is the desire to want to be in a relationship with another human being for no other reason than the healing energy of knowing you can count on that person and they can count on you in life when it is challenging or when it is exciting. This kind of friendship is the best medicine.

 

 

 

 

Think Yourself Well

At a time when we feel threatened by the flu season, this article, which I wrote for Infinity Magazine may give a new perspective on staying WELL. Enjoy!

THINK YOURSELF WELL

 

            I don’t believe in the germ theory. I believe in the conflict theory. If it were true that germs were the sole cause of illness, we would be sick all the time. There are millions of microorganisms and infectious diseases everywhere-where we live, work, play, shop, and eat.

Stress and conflict play a major role in whether we are well or sick. Next time you get sick, ask yourself what was or is going on in your life during this time? Chances are you have had conflict and stress in your life. A broken heart can break down the body. When we suffer from aches and pains, chances are you also have pain in your life. 

Research is showing that our emotions cause at least 75 % of all disease. In his classic book The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale quotes a physician who said, “Many of my patients have nothing wrong with them except their thoughts.”

                        Meditation, massage, hypnosis, acupuncture, and hands on healing work because they all have one thing in common; they promote relaxation of the body and the mind creating a more balanced state for healing. Healing practitioners must center and balance their own energy for healing to occur.

                         Emotions that make us ill are anger, guilt, boredom, and fear. We can suppress our emotions or recognize them.  Psychotherapy and counseling can be helpful because bringing all of these emotions to the surface without the proper guidance to deal with them can make us sicker.

             Obviously delving into the mind and the emotions is difficult because every human being is different. How we see life and react to change and stress is individual. Our medical system can measure physical changes in the body with laboratory evaluations of the blood and body fluids, but measuring what is on our mind and how we deal with stress is much more difficult making Mind Body medicine a challenge.

             Doing everything right, watching what you eat, eating a low cholesterol diet, running and lifting weights, and abstaining from cigarettes and alcohol are not necessarily a guarantee for staying well. On the other hand, this does not mean that you should throw all the lifestyle rules out the window. What you have to realize is that if by doing all of these positive behaviors you are full of negative energy and stress, your body might look healthy but your mind is sick.

              When the mind is sick, the body suffers and yet by trusting that we have a choice of what we want to think, the power of healing is in our own hands. We have the capacity to restore our physical, emotional and spiritual health by simply desiring to be well. This kind of healing goes deeper than taking medicine or having surgery to repair or remove a sick part of the body. We have to believe that we can change our cells by changing our thoughts and when our thoughts are negative the body will suffer.

Shifting Gears

I just returned from a wonderful family vacation in Oregon "God's Country." We had 10 wonderful days away with our children and granddaughters. After being away and having a very long day at the airport due to a flight glitch, I am back at my desk, taking a deep breath and moving slower than usual because I am "Shifting Gears." Enjoy this article I wrote about this very phenomena.

SHIFTING GEARS

 

Your kids are going back to school.  You’re in empty nest. You’ve just returned from traveling. You’re starting a new job. Whether you are experiencing any of these transitions or other changes in your life, they all have something in common. They cause us to shift gears or reorient ourselves to our place and time and circumstance.

I travel a lot both for business and pleasure. When I return home it takes me a couple of days to get back into the flow of my routine. I am often tired and feel a bit disorganized. Rather than get upset, I simply listen to my body. Sometimes it needs to rest. Other times I need a good walk. If I just go with the flow I feel much more balanced and productive within a few days.

I remember when my children started school in the Fall. Summer was fun and our schedule was flexible, but by late August even though we still felt the summer heat, it was time to set the alarm and get back into a routine. When they all went away to college, the house felt empty and my husband and I had to reset our priorities.  It is all a matter of change and shifting gears.

Shifting gears has an effect on the body, the mind, and the spirit. We have to come up with strategies for easing into our new situation. We have to cope with change.

In the book, Aging Body Timeless Mind ,Deepak Chopra states “An estimated 6 trillion reactions are taking place in each cell every second.…In order to stay alive, your body must live on the wings of change.” Essentially we are always adapting to change.

Your body may respond by feeling a bit off. You may experience fatigue or a sense of restlessness. You may feel like you’re getting a cold or have a run down feeling.  Mentally you may feel a sense of disorientation or not knowing what to do next. You may feel unorganized or a lack of focus. You may also have a positive experience of feeling excited, relieved or contentment. Shifting Gears can strengthen or weaken your spirit and sense of connectedness.  

Some strategies for dealing with shifting gears or coping with change are first to accept that you need time to readjust. Recognize that a shift is taking place not just outside you, but within you as well. Ease back into your life situation slowly. You may need to take time off work. If you just returned from a vacation it is good to plan for a day off to unpack and prepare to get back to your normal working routine.

 It takes time to adapt to a change in your life, and if it is a big change you may need more time to adapt. Give yourself time to adjust to your current situation. Allow your body and mind to relax as needed. Take a nap or take a walk, whichever is most helpful. Most of all, practice mindfulness- staying in the present moment and accepting a short period of chaos while your body, mind and spirit adapt to change.

 

Mary Claybon is a life and wellness coach, writer and speaker with over 30 years of experience in the field of health and wellness. Through her business Promoting Health: The Middle Way LLC, Mary has facilitated wellness programs for businesses and individuals and now offers telephone and web based coaching nationally to facilitate lasting behavior change. Mary also facilitates A Course in Miracles group in Cincinnati, Ohio. Visit www.themiddlewayhealth.com or call Mary at 513-309-8377. Mary’s e-mail is maryfree@cinci.rr.com.

 

 

 

 

 

NERVOUS BREAKTHROUGHS: The Pleasure of Sadness

This is an article I wrote several months ago, but it fits with the theme of resiliency.

    Throughout my life I have had a series of nervous breakthroughs. Rather than call them break downs I like to call them break throughs. I learned from these experiences and found my life more enriched, more mature, and at a powerful stage of growth after coming through a sad or conflicted time in my life.
    I believe “it’s all good” and that happiness is living with a sense of trust that everything happens for a reason, or as I say “everything happens for a lesson. “ Life is a journey in which we follow a path that leads us on a road, not always straight, full of twisted side paths, but eventually leading us forward to discover who we are and our ultimate purpose in life. It is not always comfortable. Discomfort can simply be a sign of growing pains.
    These days, it seems we do not allow ourselves to tolerate discomfort in our minds and our souls. Sadness and depression, while often so deep and debilitating they rightly warrant prescription medication, are a time to get in touch with the depth of your heart and soul. There is nothing wrong with a good cry or a time to scream out in anguish or to get down on your knees and pray. It’s a time to listen to what our deepest inner self may want to tell us after such a time of anguish and pain.
    There are so many new books on the market about happiness that it may seem wrong to experience sadness. It is great to be a positive thinker and see the glass half-full and the world through rose-colored glasses. However sadness is not negative thinking. It just is a beautiful human emotion. You can still see the glass half-full when you judge sadness as simply an experience and not a tragedy. You can wear your rose-colored glasses and even imagine you are sitting in a rose garden, while you have a good cry. 
    Victor Hugo described melancholy as “the pleasure of being sad.” Sadness is normal after losing a loved one, losing a job, failing at something felt important, or just reading the newspaper or watching the evening news. It would be a classic case of denial if one said they never felt sad.
    There are times when you can’t pinpoint the source of sadness, and yet something inside is not right. If you are losing weight, losing sleep, feeling hopeless or have thoughts of suicide some type of therapy may be needed. Rather than hurry to take a drug, it might be helpful to see a professionally trained psychotherapist or counselor.  Sometimes medicine is helpful while engaging in talk therapy.  And there are times when depression is caused by a chemical imbalance and may warrant medication similar to a diabetic who needs insulin. In these cases it is best to see a knowledgeable psychiatrist who is a doctor trained to decide the best medication and dose for individuals suffering from depression.
    Recently I went to my doctor and told her I was feeling a little down, wondering if I should take a drug, and she said “ You have normal sadness. Your father died, your life is in transition-you don’t need medication, just a little more soul-searching and allowing yourself to be content with not being happy all the time.” I left the office empowered and with lightness in my step as I thought, she’s right. This is natural and normal and you will come through this with yet another nervous breakthrough.

Question?? Have you ever had a nervous breakthrough??

Back to The Middle Way Health Website

Why Not Meditate?

Why Not Meditate?

(I wrote this several years ago, but you know what? It still fits today)

    Everyday I feel the call to sit on my zafu (meditation cushion) or to gracefully take my body and mind through an hour of yoga. Somehow I have a stronger calling to go outside and grab the morning paper and sip flavored coffee as I read through the chaos of the world. Inside my mind and soul is a feeling compassion for everyone in the news. The news is mostly controversial, frightening, political, and just down right sad at times. There is always mass confusion about everything and no real long-term solutions to any big problems. I enjoy reading human-interest stories about people and especially enjoy reading the obituary stories to see how people lived their lives. Then I turn to the Tempo section, which has the Dear Abby column, the horoscope summaries for the day and my daily crossword puzzle that I take to the pot with me for morning elimination.
    After I have answered this calling then I again feel that little urge to go do yoga and meditation but somehow the computer calls me and I feel I have to go check my e-mail.
    Then I might sit down and write or make a phone call –anything but sit.
    Whatever is going on inside me emotionally I know will be settled on that cushion or yoga mat but for some reason I do everything else but that.
    What is going on here? I’ll tell you what I think. When I sit and get quiet the entire world is an illusion. Suddenly all that matters is a sense of peace and quiet. All of my problems are reduced –all of the issues that keep my brain rattling are minimize – and my mind translates this to – I am minimized. That is the little I -. The I that is proud and smart and business like and achievement oriented and successful or not. The I that talks to people and is recognized as a separate entity. The I that is reflected in all of my many roles that I think are so important. That I is minimized and when in deep meditation actually disappears.
    The big I that is one with the universe and God if you will, is maximized. That I is all that matters and the issues and problems of the world suddenly are gone.
    That is a scary thought to a big ego. That I would become so small and that God would be most important. That suddenly invalidates all the issues in the paper that I run to read every morning.
I am struggling to stay connected to the world – that is all I will say right now.
Now I will go and begin with yoga hopefully to end up on my cushion.

4 Questions to guide your healthy lifestyle

What are you eating?

Make a list of the healthy foods you love and like and those you don’t like. Make sure your daily diet includes the foods you love. If you are not sure what healthy food is any more, consult with a registered dietician or coach and be well on your way to a life time of eating for health and joy. Eat foods that are fresh, plant based, unprocessed, whole, and nutrient rich.

What are you drinking?

Most important are you drinking enough water? Your body is made up of 80% water and water is needed to keep all of your metabolic systems working smoothly. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day-not flavored water or fortified water or energy water-just plain filtered or spring water. You may need more or less according to your body size and activity level. Make your first choice of beverage a glass of water. Squeeze a little lemon juice in for added flavor and nutritional balance.

What are you doing?

Just move! Make sure your body gets enough movement during the day. Wear a pedometer and measure the number of steps you are walking in a normal day. Work toward getting 10,000 steps a day. Soon you will notice you are parking farther away when shopping, doing more daily errands, and taking extra walks during the day. Don’t just sit there- MOVE!

What are you thinking?

Watch your thoughts during the day. Notice when you feel afraid, anxious, or a sense of urgency. Take a deep breath and allow your mind to focus on positive thoughts. Bring joy into your life with little things- notice the flowers and trees in spring and summer, the falling leaves of autumn and the glistening snow of winter. Slow down and appreciate every moment and most of all have some sense of spirituality –the thought or feeling that you are not alone in the universe and that you are loved and cared for at all times. Pray; meditate; sit quietly with a book that makes you smile. Laugh more, and relate to others with a sense of compassion and forgiveness.

Retreat

I just returned from a retreat a "treat" I gave myself- a time to heal, a time to feel, a time where I have no time schedule other than the two appointments I had with Emmett Miller, a physician and coach from Nevada City, California. Normally my life is pretty distracted with technology-blogs and websites and emails and also the myriad of home responsibilities and relationships. My retreat is a time for me to step back without a computer-just a journal and read the books I have wanted to read; write without a specific goal or deadline; sit in the fresh air and listen to the birds and the wind blowing through the trees. and although annoying, share space with the bees who are curious about me as I sit outside invading their peace.
I was in Nevada City, California staying in the mountain, where my cell phone did not work. This was nice too.I couldn't distract myself with a phone call either that I initiated or that I just had to answer.

Every morning I woke up very early, between 3 and 5 AM. This was natural as I was still on Cincinnati time. I stayed in a small studio apartment. There was no coffee pot so I went to the local thrift store and bought a really nice Braun drip coffee maker for $3.00. I love fresh coffee in the morning in a real cup. Then I would go out on my little deck, wrapped in a blanket, and just sit in the early morning air. At this time of the year in Northern California it is cool in the morning, although by mid morning the sun was strong and the temperatures would rise, reaching at least 75 degrees during the day. As I came down from the mountain the temperatures were even warmer. Not one day went by without sunshine. It was a beautiful week.

I shared my outside space with several deer, who were not shy at all. They came rather close and we simply made eye contact with a mutual understanding and agreement that peace was peace and we would not disturb each other. After a morning of sitting, reading, writing and reflecting, I would take a short walk in the woods and then leave for the day and go into the small towns of Nevada City and Grass Lake.

This is gold country, the home of the early gold mines between California and Nevada. I did not know that Nevada was the name of this California town long before the state of Nevada became reality. They had to add city to the name after Nevada became a state. So now there is Nevada City, California, located between Reno, Nevada and the capitol of California -Sacramento.

I felt right at home. There was a Prius everywhere I turned. I just got my little hybrid this month and not only love the drive but love the idea that somehow I am doing something good for the earth. The people made me feel at home too-casual, friendly, and free spirited.

Although I enjoyed the shops and restaurants, I used this time for something deeper, more serious perhaps, but precious time to stop all of the frenzy of life and go inside to the hidden spaces I cover up in my heart. Those places of hurt and pain, places where feelings lay buried, and bring up to the surface questions I have little time to answer.

When it is time to return home, I feel a sense of clarity of purpose, and a renewed sense of love for everyone and everything.

My flights all went smoothly. My rent a car was a trusted friend. I got back to Cincinnati very late because I flew in and out of Columbus, leaving me to drive an hour and a half after my arrival at 10:30 Friday night. I got back to Cincinnati about 12:30 AM, but still on California time, it felt kind of like my drive back up the mountain after a day in town.

I put in the CD my daughter Marcie made for me last Mother's Day and enjoyed my drive home listening to songs about searching, peace, life, and love.

I walked in the door and there was my husband. We embraced and loved each other even more than ever.
It is this time we take away from each other that brings us closer. I also loved my home more and realize I have my own deck and my own trees and my own bees and if I am quiet, the deer will visit too. If only I could take time away from the technological distractions and all the things I think my house and work are calling me to do.

A retreat need not be a week in California, but simply an hour to sit, read a book, write in my journal or walk in the woods. It's all right here. And my heart goes with me wherever I go, ready to be open and authentic if only I stay in touch.

Thank you Emmett, for reminding me of inner and outer beauty and life's rich experience awaiting my acceptance once I step out of the way of thinking I know my direction.