Mary Claybon's Middle Way Health Blog

Mountain or Molehill

Mountain or Molehill: Keeping Life in Perspective

by Mary Claybon

 Some people these days would say a molehill is a big deal. After all these little pointed mice like creatures can tunnel through our yards and mess up our flower beds in no time. And mountains? They are there to enjoy, to climb, to offer slopes for skiing and hiking trails. Yet the saying, make a mountain out of a molehill implies that we are making a big deal out of a small issue.

Molehills are upsetting and yet in the long haul, with a big picture view they are not a disaster. Brain tumors and terminal cancer are a big deal and like mountains are a journey not easy to climb. Given the choice of being in pain, losing a limb or loved one, fighting cancer, or our house burning down, we would all choose the molehills.

How often do you notice yourself freaking out over day to day inconveniences or small things that just don’t go according to plan?  Recently my husband and I created a rock fountain in our back yard. Four hundred pounds of rocks later and at least three arguments, we finally finished our masterpiece. We were so proud, took pictures and apologized for our unkind words to each other. The results were a beautiful flow of water around the rocks. Two hours later we noticed the flow had decreased and the water was leaking somewhere under the rocks. It was disappointing and disturbed both of out sleep that week. Our stress increased and our peace of mind was lost-all over a simple garden project. The truth is we made it a mountain-something to climb and achieve and could not handle its imperfection.

If that same weekend one of us was diagnosed with cancer, we would have loved to struggle with a fountain rather than begin the struggle with this disease.

Next time you get upset, stop and remind yourself that you have two arms, two legs, you can walk and as far as you know you still have a lot of life left to live unless you kill yourself with stressful thoughts.

Most problems have a solution and those that don’t are a waste of time fretting about. Stay in the moment and focus on what is really bothering you. Did you ever notice that a stubbed toe hurts a lot worse when you’re in a bad mood? How much time have you wasted lately being upset about something that was no big deal?

I am amazed at how some people who are paralyzed or are faced with big problems can take life in stride and maintain their sense of joy, while people without these obstacles are never happy.

There is a value in keeping a gratitude journal. Write down everything you have and are grateful for everyday, so that when you freak out over trivialities you can be reminded that you are already at the top of your own mountain from where molehills don’t look so bad.

Mary Claybon is a life and wellness coach with over 30 years of experience in health and wellness. Through her business Promoting Health: The Middle Way LLC, Mary has facilitated wellness programs for businesses and individuals and now offers telephone and web based coaching nationally to promote lasting change. Mary also facilitates A Course in Miracles group in Cincinnati, Ohio. Visit www.themiddlewayhealth.com or call Mary at 513-309-8377. Mary’s e-mail is maryfree@cinci.rr.com.

PS-I wrote this article last year for a holistic publication. Today, my husband and I took the rock fountain apart and are filling it in with dirt. It was too much maintenance. We are repurposing the rocks and filling it all in with dirt and plants. We haven't had a fight yet. I hope you enjoyed the article.

 

 

 

 

Think Yourself Well

At a time when we feel threatened by the flu season, this article, which I wrote for Infinity Magazine may give a new perspective on staying WELL. Enjoy!

THINK YOURSELF WELL

 

            I don’t believe in the germ theory. I believe in the conflict theory. If it were true that germs were the sole cause of illness, we would be sick all the time. There are millions of microorganisms and infectious diseases everywhere-where we live, work, play, shop, and eat.

Stress and conflict play a major role in whether we are well or sick. Next time you get sick, ask yourself what was or is going on in your life during this time? Chances are you have had conflict and stress in your life. A broken heart can break down the body. When we suffer from aches and pains, chances are you also have pain in your life. 

Research is showing that our emotions cause at least 75 % of all disease. In his classic book The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale quotes a physician who said, “Many of my patients have nothing wrong with them except their thoughts.”

                        Meditation, massage, hypnosis, acupuncture, and hands on healing work because they all have one thing in common; they promote relaxation of the body and the mind creating a more balanced state for healing. Healing practitioners must center and balance their own energy for healing to occur.

                         Emotions that make us ill are anger, guilt, boredom, and fear. We can suppress our emotions or recognize them.  Psychotherapy and counseling can be helpful because bringing all of these emotions to the surface without the proper guidance to deal with them can make us sicker.

             Obviously delving into the mind and the emotions is difficult because every human being is different. How we see life and react to change and stress is individual. Our medical system can measure physical changes in the body with laboratory evaluations of the blood and body fluids, but measuring what is on our mind and how we deal with stress is much more difficult making Mind Body medicine a challenge.

             Doing everything right, watching what you eat, eating a low cholesterol diet, running and lifting weights, and abstaining from cigarettes and alcohol are not necessarily a guarantee for staying well. On the other hand, this does not mean that you should throw all the lifestyle rules out the window. What you have to realize is that if by doing all of these positive behaviors you are full of negative energy and stress, your body might look healthy but your mind is sick.

              When the mind is sick, the body suffers and yet by trusting that we have a choice of what we want to think, the power of healing is in our own hands. We have the capacity to restore our physical, emotional and spiritual health by simply desiring to be well. This kind of healing goes deeper than taking medicine or having surgery to repair or remove a sick part of the body. We have to believe that we can change our cells by changing our thoughts and when our thoughts are negative the body will suffer.

Reflections on Multitasking

Every now and then I have to take a step back and regroup-take a look at all I am doing and reevaluate my goals. Lately I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. Although I am very excited about many things-too many things are finding a place on my plate.

On Sunday, August 30 there was an excellent article in the New York Times called The Mediocre Multitasker by Ruth Pennebaker. Researchers at Stanford University published a study that essentially showed "multitaskers perform badly in a variety of tasks." They get distracted, unfocused, and are weak at organizing information.

This made me think about my own life right now. I am enjoying all of it, but having a hard time being great at any one thing. Then you might ask-do you have to be great? No-but we don't want to be mediocre either. So the question is one of balance and acceptance of imperfection.

My goal is to work at my business of coaching and health education three days a week. I love working at home and via the internet and telecommunications. Coaching is a rich experience for me and my clients and I have enjoyed this year of teaching mindfulness for weight loss and stress management.

Currently I am working on updating my web presence and becoming more savvy at on line marketing. I find this overwhelming and exciting at the same time. Realizing this was out of my realm I hired a virtual assistant who has been working behind the scenes to make this all happen.

I am enjoying being a grandmother and everything stops when my granddaughters are around. This time is precious and priceless and I value each moment I can connect with them by holding, loving, playing, and just BEING with them. They are only 11 months old but we have a very close relationship. We are celebrating their first year birthdays and I can't wait!

My family is important and time spent with all of them is a priority. My home and garden are important to me so I do value my time in both. Sharing life with my husband and caring for our empty nest together is a joy. We enjoy our time at home and traveling and enjoy our adult children and their lives. And we both enjoy visiting with our extended families of origin.

Girlfriends are another top priority and nurturing friendships takes time for sharing and growing together.

I am also an officer in a women's group I love. It is a group of women who come together monthly to connect and hear a member present a paper each month on a topic of interest. We are a group of writers, artists and creative women who come together to share life and intellectual pursuits.

Near and dear to my heart and soul is my work with A Course in Miracles, a spiritual text meant for self study, but often needing support from a group such as mine. We have a retreat coming up on September 12 on Living the Course and while it has taken preparation and coordination, it will be a wonderful day for us to come together.

I don't want to give up any of this and yet, as I read the article, The Mediocre Multitasker I realized that I could not do it all and do any of it well.

At least, I won't be great at anything. So I either have to accept that in order for my life to flow and to feel like a dance, I might have to STOP whatever I am doing once in awhile and DO NOTHING but sit quietly, perhaps pray, meditate, listen to the universe for clarity to know what I can mindfully accomplish when I take action again.